Stephen Colbert Quotes

Stephen Colbert Quotes: Global warming isn't real because I was cold today! Also great news: world hunger is over because I just ate.
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Stephen Colbert Quote: After nearly 15 minutes of soul searching, I have heard the call. Nation, I will seek the office of the president of the United States. I am doing it!
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Quotes about Stephen Colbert: In God's eyes all children are beautiful but here on earth we have higher standards.
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Quote about Stephen Colbert: Shamelessness is a wonderful part of the character.
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Stephen Colbert Sayings: A mother needs to be in the home even when the kids aren't. A messy house sends a coded message to children:
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Stephen Colbert Saying: I spent my first two years at a small all-male college in Virginia called Hampden-Sydney. That was like going to college 120 years ago. The languages, a year of rhetoric, all of the great books, Western Man courses, stuff like that.
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Sayings about Stephen Colbert: I won't be doing the new show in character, so we'll all get to find out how much of him was me. I'm looking forward to it.
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Saying about Stephen Colbert: You know what I hate about people who criticize you? They - they criticize what you say but they never give you credit for how loud you say it.
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Stephen Colbert Quotes: That's why our TVs are brimming with so much hot man-on-pan action. You can't channel surf for long without seeing turkey getting stuffed over and over until they finally cut to the gravy shot.
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Stephen Colbert Quote: Life is chaotic and unpredictable. If a butterfly flaps its wings in one part of the world, it could cause people at the opposite end of the globe to watch a Discovery Channel special on butterflies
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Quotes about Stephen Colbert: A native American group has filed a class-action lawsuit against the government for mismanagement of oil, gas, grazing, timber and other royalties since 1887. They're seeking $100 billion. Here's the good news: The government has responded what I believe is an appropriate counteroffer: A two-cent Navajo stamp.
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Quote about Stephen Colbert: Once I'm performing the show, I think that hour show has a certain intimacy with our audience. And that intimacy is through the lens and the live audience is a witness to that, whereas the audience at home is actually the object of my efforts.
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Stephen Colbert Sayings: Every night on my show, The Colbert Report, I speak straight from the gut, okay? I give people the truth, unfiltered by rational argument. I call it
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Stephen Colbert Saying: And when those bombs went off, there were runners who, after finishing a marathon, kept running for another two miles to the hospital to donate blood. So, here's what I know -- these maniacs may have tried to make life bad for the people of Boston, but all they can ever do, is show just how good those people are.
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Sayings about Stephen Colbert: The worst thing about affirmative action is that it encourages reverse discrimination, so-called because it goes in the opposite way of how we naturally discriminate.
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Saying about Stephen Colbert: I'm not a standup. I didn't start off as a writer, I learned to write through improvisation, and so that's the part of the show that can most surprise me. The written part of the show, I know I can get wrong. You can't really get the interview
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Stephen Colbert Quotes: You have to have a passionate opinion; otherwise you sound false. You end up telling the audience jokes they've already heard.
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Stephen Colbert Quote: The trouble with the jokes is that once they're written, I know how they're supposed to work, and all I can do is not hit them. I'm more comfortable improvising. If I have just two or three ideas and I know how the character feels, what the character wants, everything in between is like trapeze work.
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