Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

Rodney Dangerfield Quotes: I once had a problem ... so I tried group sex. Now I have a new problem - who to thank.
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Rodney Dangerfield Quote: I come from a stupid family. My uncle heard that most deaths occurs within ten miles of the house...so he moved.
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Quotes about Rodney Dangerfield: I live in a bad neighborhood. Why, I saw two complete strangers share a taxi - yeah, one guy took the radio and the other guy took the tires.
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Quote about Rodney Dangerfield: Life is full of temporary situations, ultimately ending in a permanent solution.
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Rodney Dangerfield Sayings: If you can't write your own material, you have very little chance of making it as a comedian.
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Rodney Dangerfield Saying: When my wife drives, there's always trouble. The other day she took the car. She came home. She told me, There's water in the carburetor. I asked her, Where's the car? She said, In a lake.
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Sayings about Rodney Dangerfield: I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.
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Saying about Rodney Dangerfield: When I was forty, I was getting divorced, living in a low-class, dirty hotel in New York. My mother was dying of cancer. I owed $20,000. That was about the lowest. I came back to show business, and I couldn't get a job. I was turned down by every small-time agent in New York.
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Rodney Dangerfield Quotes: Women my age just don't turn me on. That's another problem with getting older. I took out an older woman the other night, and I mean old. I told her, Act your age. She died.
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Rodney Dangerfield Quote: I recently had double-bypass surgery. As they wheel you in, the doctor always gives you a last look. You know that look. That look of confidence to make you feel good. I always say to every doctor, If I don't make it, I'll never know it.
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Quotes about Rodney Dangerfield: I said to a girl I'd been seeing, come home with me, honey, and I'll show you where it's at. She said, You'd better, because the last time I could'nt find it.
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Quote about Rodney Dangerfield: To give you an idea how well I was doing at the time I quit, I was the only one who knew I quit.
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Rodney Dangerfield Sayings: Getting older is tough. I remember the last time I felt an erection. It was at the movies. The only trouble is, it belonged to the guy sitting next to me.
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Rodney Dangerfield Saying: Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor. I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.
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Sayings about Rodney Dangerfield: I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push.
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Saying about Rodney Dangerfield: If every man was as true to his country as he was to his wife, we'd be in a lot of trouble.
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Rodney Dangerfield Quotes: Oh, when I was a kid, I was poor. Christmas, I got no presents. Well, there was one Christmas, on our front lawn - Prancer and Dancer - they dropped off a little something.
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Rodney Dangerfield Quote: My wife has to be the worst cook. In my house, we pray after we eat.
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