Robert Benchley Quotes

Robert Benchley Quotes: A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death.
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Robert Benchley Quote: In a house where there are small children the bathroom soon takes on the appearance of the Old Curiosity Shop.
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Quotes about Robert Benchley: The only cure for a real hangover is death.
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Quote about Robert Benchley: There is probably no more obnoxious class of citizen, taken end for end, than the returning vacationist.
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Robert Benchley Sayings: Traveling with children corresponds roughly to traveling third class in Bulgaria.
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Robert Benchley Saying: I can't quite define my aversion to asking questions of strangers. From snatches of family battles which I have heard drifting up from railway stations and street corners, I gather that there are a great many men who share my dislike for it, as well as an equal number of women who ... believe it to be the solution to most of this world's problems.
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Sayings about Robert Benchley: What is to be done with people who can't read a Sunday paper without messing it all up?... Show me a Sunday paper which has been left in a condition fit only for kite flying, and I will show you an antisocial and dangerous character who has left it that way.
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Saying about Robert Benchley: Who has not wished that his host would come out frankly at the beginning of the visit and state, in no uncertain terms, the rulesand preferences of the household in such matters as the breakfast hour? And who has not sounded out his guest to find out what he likes in the regulation of his diet and modus vivendi (mode of living)?
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Robert Benchley Quotes: A man gets on a train with his little boy, and gives the conductor only one ticket. 'How old's your kid?' the conductor says, and the father says, 'He's four years old.' 'He looks at least twelve to me,' says the conductor. And the father says, 'Can I help it if he worries?
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Robert Benchley Quote: I once heard a woman laugh at that most tragic moment in all drama, the off-stage shot in
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Quotes about Robert Benchley: [Reviewing the New York City Telephone Directory] But it is the opinion of the present reviewer that the weakness of plot is due to the great number of characters which clutter up the pages. The Russian school is responsible for this.
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Quote about Robert Benchley: I never liked bananas much anyway. Two-thirds of the way down even one banana I am willing to concede defeat smilingly and give the rest to the nearest monkey.
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Robert Benchley Sayings: I am both a public and a private school boy myself, having always changed schools just as the class in English in the new school was taking up Silas Marner, with the result that it was the only book in the English language that I knew until I was eighteen--but, boy, did I know Silas Marner!
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Robert Benchley Saying: My first big mistake was made when, in a moment of weakness, I consented to learn the game; for a man who can frankly say
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Sayings about Robert Benchley: I once heard of a murderer who propped his two victims up against a chess board in sporting attitudes and was able to get as far as Seattle before his crime was discovered.
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Saying about Robert Benchley: In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.
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Robert Benchley Quotes: A child of three cannot raise its chubby fist to its mouth to remove a piece of carpet which it is through eating, without being made the subject of a psychological seminar of child-welfare experts, and written up, along with five hundred other children of three who have put their hands to their mouths for the same reason.
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Robert Benchley Quote: The English language may hold a more disagreeable combination of words than
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