Richard Jeni Quotes

Richard Jeni Quotes: Sports are an acceptable way for men to show emotion. A guy who won't hug his kid will slip a guy a tongue in a sports bar when his team wins.
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Richard Jeni Quote: In any relationship there are certain doors that should never be opened. The bathroom door, for example.
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Quotes about Richard Jeni: Choosing to have a child you can't take care of is like farting in an elevator. Sure you got it out, but not it's everyone else's problem.
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Quote about Richard Jeni: I was brought up Catholic. My mom brought us to mass every Sunday - short for 'massive head trauma' that you get from your mother punching you in your little nine-year-old head every minute because you can't sit still for anything that's boring.
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Richard Jeni Sayings: Animals are happier than humans because they're like furry little existentialists, all living in the moment. Their collective motto: live fast, die young, and leave a good-looking pelt.
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Richard Jeni Saying: There is no romance without some lying. That's what romance is - a little bit of Vaseline on the camera lens of life.
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Sayings about Richard Jeni: Seventy-five percent of all Americans believe that angels are real. Which is amazing when you consider that forty percent of all Americans think DNA evidence is unreliable.
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Saying about Richard Jeni: It's always the guy who gets the diarrhea on the commercial at an inconvenient moment. As if you've ever been in a situation: 'You know, this would be a great time to get the runs, you think? I mean the sun's out, we're on the ferris wheel - what are we waiting for?
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Richard Jeni Quotes: If you have a choice of selling shoes to ladies or giving birth to a flaming porcupine... look into that second, less painful career.
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