Eugene Mirman Quotes

Eugene Mirman Quotes: Before going home with a guy, give him a blow job. Guys are always more relaxed after a blow job.
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Eugene Mirman Quote: The good thing about being stuck at the airport for an extra hour, is that it gives you a chance to give weary travelers surprise massages.
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Quotes about Eugene Mirman: I don't speak French, but I took it for five years growing up. So, if I were in a situation where I had to be, like, 'Excuse me, pineapple dog house red, what time is it library?' - no problem.
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Quote about Eugene Mirman: It's important to prepare audience for the worst in life. People come to forget their problems, and it's my job, right before I leave, to go,
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Eugene Mirman Sayings: Of course, to avoid getting stuck in that convo with someone you dislike or feel uncomfortable around, don't be passive, be proactive. Do not let them direct your interaction on their terms, do it on yours. Ask a Misdirection Question--something too difficult to answer quickly--e.g., 'What's Congress up to?' or 'You ever learn any cool science?' When you ask the question, don't make eye contact, keep moving and get out of there. Do not wait for a response and deny ever asking it. Repeat these actions until you are never again spoken to by that individual (about four times).
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Eugene Mirman Saying: There's nothing sexier than a girl who's like, 'I know who FDR is, I know about the New Deal, I'm going to give you a new deal.' and then, over a period of years, she structures her sex acts in such a way that they save the economy.
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Sayings about Eugene Mirman: Never give in to peer pressure, especially if the peer is not attractive.
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Saying about Eugene Mirman: Prom night can be a special night, if you let it be. I know you think it's for losers and something that popular kids do because they are boring people with porcelain hearts who don't know what it means to be lonely. But you're wrong. Prom is a chance for everyone to try oral sex. Go for it.
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Eugene Mirman Quotes: Oh, Hello. I'm Eugene Mirman, and I'm here to introduce my special. It's called An Evening of Comedy in a Fake Underground Laboratory.
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Eugene Mirman Quote: Let's start anew. Life is goals - Purpose-Attempts - Struggle-Dreams and Accomplishmenties. It sounds confusing (my fault), but it's actually simple.
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Quotes about Eugene Mirman: There was one woman who had a giant sign and on it, it just said, 'America Is Better Than Abortion.' I think she meant that America was too good a place for the horror of abortion. But instead, it sounded like she had weighed both - the American spirit and getting an abortion and decided that American spirit better. I think it is a bad idea to have grammatically ambiguous protest signs.
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