Emo Philips Quotes

Emo Philips Quotes: In college I was one of six males who auditioned for five male roles in a comedy play. I was the one rejected. At that moment I made up my mind never to place myself at the mercy of some pompous, goateed, black-turtleneck-shirted
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Emo Philips Quote: You know, a lot of girls go out with me just to further their careers...damn anthropologists.
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Quotes about Emo Philips: All the nations of the earth must learn to live together in peace. Why be prejudiced against anyone because of their race, nationality, or creed? When there's so many real reasons to hate others.
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Quote about Emo Philips: Writing jokes for others is like having babies for someone else. It's sad. Like the woman who gives up her baby but needs to be close so she secretly becomes the maid in the household.
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Emo Philips Sayings: A Mormon told me that they don't drink coffee. I said,
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Emo Philips Saying: I'm totally normal in every respect, but I have this one quirk - I can't give out a number without laughing. It's a problem when I'm giving my credit card number over the phone because they always think: 'He must have just stolen it.'
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Sayings about Emo Philips: I've always kind of pushed the envelope in terms of trying to get away with things no one else was going near. I always thought of myself like a mouse trying to get cheese that no one else could get without getting their tail snipped off.
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Saying about Emo Philips: I give money to Unicef because I like the 'bang for your buck' aspect. Here's $10, go and save 1,000 kids from blindness!
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Emo Philips Quotes: I pray a simple prayer every morning. It's an ecumenical prayer. Whether you're Catholic or Jewish or Muslim or Hindu, I think it speaks to the heart of every faith. It goes
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Emo Philips Quote: Every night my wife used to give me a foot massage. And my face would smell weird afterwards, but...
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Quotes about Emo Philips: I try not to talk during the day when I have a show that night. My voice is my instrument, just like a saxophonist's instrument is his saxophone, plus also his voice, if he's the one between tunes that makes announcements.
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Quote about Emo Philips: I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
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Emo Philips Sayings: I've always had a special place in my heart for old women digging through garbage bins. They saved my life so many times as a baby.
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