Doug Stanhope Quotes

Doug Stanhope Quotes: I love when you get boner spam for boner pills and the subject is Be a better lover. Oh, the boner was the problem on that? That's why I'm a bad lover? Do you have a pill that's gonna make me care if she cums? That would be a medical miracle.
Send Quote
Doug Stanhope Quote: They never differentiate between drug users and drug addicts... I've done most drugs there are socially, I never had a problem.
Send Quote
Quotes about Doug Stanhope: Steal my stuff off the internet wherever you can and don't apologize. Buy the CDs and DVDs from my site and feel free to burn 'em and share 'em. Then come to the show.
Send Quote
Quote about Doug Stanhope: Controversial issues are always more interesting but I don't create material about a subject I have opinion on just because it's controversial. The most fun is having a point of view that the audience is generally against and presenting an argument that challenges their thinking.
Send Quote
Doug Stanhope Sayings: I've never tried to drive my career in any particular direction. I've always been an in-the-moment, live-for-today guy. I've never had a goal, and nearly everything I've done has been an accident. I just play to me, and if I can amuse myself, I consider it a victory.
Send Quote
Doug Stanhope Saying: I drink during every show. I can't remember the last show I did completely sober. It works for me. I use it as a tool. It's like steroids are for athletes. I'm looser and more self-confident. If I drank less, I wouldn't have been on stage this long.
Send Quote
Sayings about Doug Stanhope: The fact is that really no comedian sets out to offend you. Some comics enjoy the challenge of taking a subject that is likely to be found offensive and trying to make it funny
Send Quote
Saying about Doug Stanhope: It is a great advantage for any man to be able to talk or hear, neither ignorantly nor absurdly, upon any subject; for I have known people, who have not said one word, hear ignorantly and absurdly; it has appeared by their inattentive and unmeaning faces.
Send Quote
Doug Stanhope Quotes: I love playing in the UK because there are some topics that you just can't talk about in the States without getting run out of town. So let me just say this: Louis C. K.'s new show sucks.
Send Quote
Doug Stanhope Quote: Religion is by no means a proper subject of conversation in a mixed company.
Send Quote
Quotes about Doug Stanhope: I drink every night. But I don't hang out and party. Not that I'm selling out Madison Square Garden, but in the old days after a show you could hang out with a few people. But now you're hanging around with 20 people, all of whom don't know each other, and they're all,
Send Quote
Quote about Doug Stanhope: Not only are the voices in your head real, but they're accurate as well.
Send Quote
Doug Stanhope Sayings: There's a fine line between being a sicko and an adventurous spirit.
Send Quote
Doug Stanhope Saying: What ever happened to freak shows? Back in the twenties when elephant man was born at least he had a job waiting for him.
Send Quote
Sayings about Doug Stanhope: The ones that bother me the most are the media saying, He's like the next Bill Hicks. It's supposed to be complimentary, but then all these Bill Hicks fans show up thinking you're going to be like him, and then go, You're no Bill Hicks. And I'm like, I never wanted to try to be like him, I don't think I'm anything like him at all, and now you're mad at me for not being him because a journalist didn't have a better reference.
Send Quote
Saying about Doug Stanhope: The whole acting and Hollywood [thing], it's just work to me. Stand-up comedy ruins you so badly for doing television. I don't really need to be known anymore than I am. The slight sliver of fame I do have is hard to deal with. If I was actually well-known - I don't even know what to say to people who are at my show when I walk into the venue, much less having waitresses in diners asking for my autograph.
Send Quote
Doug Stanhope Quotes: I wish the 50 states would break up. Lose the centralised government. More choice. How do you want to live, there's 50 different ways! You hate black people? We've a state for that. You wanna have an abortion? Here's a state. I think we should just keep breaking up countries now so they become just individuals.
Send Quote
Doug Stanhope Quote: The reputation of generosity is to be purchased pretty cheap; it does not depend so much upon a man's general expense, as it does upon his giving handsomely where it is proper to give at all. A man, for instance, who should give a servant four shillings, would pass for covetous, while he who gave him a crown, would be reckoned generous; so that the difference of those two opposite characters, turns upon one shilling.
Send Quote