David Sedaris Quotes

David Sedaris Quotes: It was my friend Frank, a writer in San Francisco, who finally set me straight. When asked about my new look he put down his fork and stared at me for a few moments.
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David Sedaris Quote: Sometimes the sins you haven't committed are all you have to hold on to. If you're really desperate, you might need to grope, saying, for example,
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Quotes about David Sedaris: I always say to young people,
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Quote about David Sedaris: The only real advice you can give anyone is to keep writing.
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David Sedaris Sayings: Einstein wrote that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. That said, is it crazier to repeatedly throw yourself against a window, or to repeatedly open that window, believing the creatures that are throwing themselves against it might come into your house, take a look around, and leave with no hard feelings?
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David Sedaris Saying: But instead I am applying for a job as an elf. Even worse than applying is the very real possibility that I will not be hired, that I couldn't even find work as an elf. That's when you know you're a failure.
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Sayings about David Sedaris: When asked
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Saying about David Sedaris: If you are any kind of an artist, then validation . . . can be a result, but you're going to do the work anyway.
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David Sedaris Quotes: I don't write about sex because it's not really my subject. I love it when other people write about it, but it's not my subject, and I don't want anyone I've had sex with to write about it. Plus, you're in front of an audience, and they picture wherever you're writing about. I'm 52; no one in the audience wants to picture that.
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David Sedaris Quote: The woman in charge of costuming assigned us our outfits and gave us a lecture on keeping things clean. She held up a calendar and said,
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Quotes about David Sedaris: When forced to leave my house for an extended period of time, I take my typewriter with me, and together we endure the wretchedness of passing through the X-ray scanner. The laptops roll merrily down the belt, while I'm instructed to stand aside and open my bag. To me it seems like a normal enough thing to be carrying, but the typewriter's declining popularity arouses suspicion and I wind up eliciting the sort of reaction one might expect when traveling with a cannon. It's a typewriter,' I say. 'You use it to write angry letters to airport security.
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Quote about David Sedaris: Their house had real hardcover books in it, and you often saw them lying open on the sofa, the words still warm from being read.
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David Sedaris Sayings: Every gathering has its moment. As an adult, I distract myself by trying to identify it, dreading the inevitable downswing that is sure to follow. The guests will repeat themselves one too many times, or you'll run out of dope or liquor and realize that it was all you ever had in common.
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David Sedaris Saying: I didn't know about the rest of the class, but when Bastille Day eventually rolled around, I planned to stay home and clean my oven.
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Sayings about David Sedaris: Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings
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Saying about David Sedaris: When her muzzle grew more white than brown, the chipmunk forgot that she and the squirrel had had nothing to talk about. She forgot the definition of
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David Sedaris Quotes: I think if you write humor, then people don't - you know - they don't give you that much credit. They tend to think you just dictate your stories into a tape recorder. And I'm not necessarily insulted by that, because I think that just means that it looks easy.
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David Sedaris Quote: The trouble with aggressive nonsmokers is that they feel they are doing you a favor by not allowing you to smoke. They seem to think that one day you'll look back and thank them for those precious fifteen seconds they just added to your life. What they don't understand is that those are just fifteen more seconds you can spend hating their guts and plotting revenge.
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