Chelsea Handler Quotes

Chelsea Handler Quotes: I will probably have sex with Eminem after the show is over. Probably, I dont see why I wouldnt. Im fair game, its not like Im that picky, youve seen the guys Ive dated. I like Swizz Beatz, just because I would like to yell out in bed, Swizz Beatz! Keep it coming!
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Chelsea Handler Quote: I think the people I talk about are generally so stupid that they don't even know I'm saying bad things about them. I've run into Paris Hilton and she's like, Oh, I love your show. And I'm like, You can't love my show if you can hear.
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Quotes about Chelsea Handler: You should never be mean to other girls. I don't care what grade you're in. Be nice to people until you're my age... and you have your own TV show.
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Quote about Chelsea Handler: The L. A. Times is reporting that Britney Spears' album Blackout will be number one on the Billboard charts. Not to toot my horn, but I predicted this on my show a week ago. No one wanted to believe me - even I didn't want to believe me, but now I know how Nostradamus feels.
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Chelsea Handler Sayings: Austin and I proceeded to knock back a couple of Ketel One and grapefruit juices, which happened to be my drink of the moment. Someone told me that grapefruit was a great detoxifier and I decided I wanted to start cleaning out my liver WHILE I was having a cocktail.
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Chelsea Handler Saying: I wish it was that easy to get turned on for me - at this point, I need a bottle of Belevere and a fighterjet.
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Sayings about Chelsea Handler: I've always been exactly who I am on TV. I'm not playing a role.
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Saying about Chelsea Handler: Thanksgiving is coming. I wonder what the holiday will be like at Dog the Bounty Hunter's house
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Chelsea Handler Quotes: My relationship with my father had been on the proverbial fritz since the time I was fifteen and called the police to report him for child molesting. He had never molested me, but I wanted to have a party that weekend and needed him out of the house.
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Chelsea Handler Quote: Jessica Simpson attended boyfriend Tony Romo's football game. The Cowboys quarterback had the worst game of his career. It's a bad year for the name Simpson. Even O. J. is pissed - he feels like they're making his name look bad.
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Quotes about Chelsea Handler: I don't think the problem is telling people you're on a diet. The problem is eating ice cream for breakfast.
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Quote about Chelsea Handler: I wanted to be a comedian, I wanted people to laugh at what I was saying, not to be staring at my boobs or wearing a skirt and show off my ... I just didn't think that that was the best way to get taken seriously in that world.
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Chelsea Handler Sayings: I'm a worker. I like to work and I like to provide work for other people. I like to put people on my show who normally would never have a chance at being on television.
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Chelsea Handler Saying: There's a reason you never see anyone's house with a Beware of Cat sign. Because they're not even worth mentioning.
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Sayings about Chelsea Handler: People confuse the fact that I discuss drinking openly with the idea that I'm a heavy drinker. I don't want girls at my show wasted, screaming and yelling out and vomiting.
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Saying about Chelsea Handler: If diamonds are a girl's best friend, I wonder if blood diamonds are a girl's best friend 5 days out of the month?
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Chelsea Handler Quotes: I have a question. Do you guys think it's OK to drink while you're pregnant if you're planning on giving the baby up for adoption?
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Chelsea Handler Quote: I hate that people assume guys are the only ones to want sex. Girls want sex, too, and that shouldn't be a problem.
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