Bill Hicks Quotes

Bill Hicks Quotes: This is the idea that has made me...an anonymous figure in America...If you have children here tonight...they are NOT special.
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Bill Hicks Quote: I guess what surprised me the most was the discrepancy in casualties: Iraq, one hundred fifty thousand casualties, USA...seventy-nine! Let's go over those numbers again, they're a little baffling at first. Iraq, 150,000, USA 79. Does that mean we could have won with only 80 guys there? Just one guy in a ticker-tape parade, I did it! Hey!
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Quotes about Bill Hicks: I ascribe to Mark Twain's theory that the last person who should be President is the one who wants it the most. The one who should be picked is the one who should be dragged kicking and screaming into the White House.
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Quote about Bill Hicks: It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer's pussy.
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Bill Hicks Sayings: People in the U.K. share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn't share with itself. They have a sense of irony, which America doesn't have, seeing as it's being run by fundamentalists who take things literally.
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Bill Hicks Saying: My voice was not heard, the questions were not asked that I wanted to see asked.
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Sayings about Bill Hicks: I believe that the Bible is the literal word of God. And I say no, it's not, Dad. Well, I believe that it is. Well, you know, some people believe they're Napoleon. That's fine. Beliefs are neat. Cherish them, but don't share them like they're the truth.
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Saying about Bill Hicks: The puppet on the right shares my beliefs, the puppet on the left is more to my liking. Hey...there's one guy holding up both!
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Bill Hicks Quotes: Writing, acting, music, comedy. A deep love of literature and books. Thank God for all the artists who've helped me.
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Bill Hicks Quote: The role of the comedian is to say 'Wait a minute' when a consensus starts to form.
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Quotes about Bill Hicks: Mister, I don't want no trouble. I just came downtown here to get some hard rock candy for my kids, some gingham for my wife. I don't even know what gingham is, but she goes through about ten rolls a week of that stuff. I ain't looking for no trouble, Mister.
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Quote about Bill Hicks: It's hard to have a relationship in this business...it's gonna take a very special woman...or a bunch of average ones.
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Bill Hicks Sayings: People in the United Kingdom and outside the United States share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn't share with itself.
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Bill Hicks Saying: I was over in Australia during Easter, which was really interesting. You know, they celebrate Easter the exact same way we do, commemorating the death and resurrection of Jesus by tellingour children that a giant bunny rabbit ... left chocolate eggs in the night. Now ... I wonder why we're f-ked up as a race. I've read the Bible. I can't find the word
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Sayings about Bill Hicks: The world is like a ride in an amusement park. And when you choose to go on it you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and round and round. It has thrills and chills and it's very brightly coloured and it's very loud and it's fun, for a while. Some people have been on the ride for a long time and they begin to question:
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Saying about Bill Hicks: I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution. OK, not the most popular idea ever expressed. Either that or you're all real high and agreeing with me in the only way you can right now. (Starts blinking)
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Bill Hicks Quotes: You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really un-evolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet.
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Bill Hicks Quote: Courtroom for Ted Bundy's trial is packed with women, trying to meet him and give him love letters and wedding-f-king-proposals...and the first thought that enters my mind is,
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